My grandmother made the most delicious nut roll in the world, a delectable swirl of Christmas and happiness and home.
Her nut roll is so legendary in my family that it has been declared that “Nobody can make a nut roll as good as Grandma Toni’s.”
And I believed that for many years.
Until my mom’s friend sent us a nut roll from a bakery in Pennsylvania one Christmas. It tasted just like Grandma’s! So she sent us another one the next year and the next. And every year in my thank you note to her, I write something like, “This tastes just like my grandma’s nut roll!”
Then there’s the Byzantine Catholic Church in Annandale that my husband discovered hosts pierogi dinners on Fridays during Lent. Guess what? Their pierogis taste just like the ones my grandma used to make. But that’s another story.
For dessert, the church ladies sell homemade nut rolls — and they also taste just like the ones my grandma used to make.
This got me thinking. If a bakery in Pennsylvania and a group of wonderful ladies in Annandale can all make nut bread that tastes just like my grandma’s … why can’t I make one too?
My Nut Roll Quest Begins
It would help to have the recipe. I do not have my grandma’s recipe.
Dear Grandmothers of the World: Please write down your recipes and share them with the people you love. They are going to need them some day.
I found a cookbook at the library that had a recipe for a nut roll that somebody else’s grandma wrote down. It didn’t seem that hard to make so I bought all of the ingredients and got to work last weekend.
The recipe called for ground almonds. That’s weird, I thought. I didn’t realize the nuts in Grandma’s nut rolls were almonds.
But I guess I never really thought about it before. I dutifully ground the entire bag of almonds in my little grinder.
Next came honey.
“This seems like a lot of honey,” I said as I squeezed the gooey gold into a measuring cup.
“Did your grandma use that much honey in her nut roll?” my husband asked as he peered into the pot.
I honestly have no idea. Why don’t I know these things?
An Awesome Nut Roll Baker
I cooked the filling per the instructions in the recipe. It didn’t exactly look like the filling inside my grandma’s nut bread. The color was off, but maybe it got darker when you baked the bread. It didn’t taste quite the same either. It was incredibly sweet — thanks to all of that honey. Maybe baking would also mellow it out a little.
The dough came together nicely. When it was time for it to rest, I gently draped a towel over it like tucking a child into bed. I felt like An Awesome Nut Roll Baker.
Then I baked my happy little loaves of nut bread. The kitchen smelled wonderful.
I imagine this is what my grandma’s kitchen smelled like when she was baking nut bread. Although, I don’t remember ever being in the kitchen when she was baking it. I just remember eating it. And I’m kind of mad that Childhood Me didn’t have the foresight to say, “I want to learn how to do that too. Can you please teach me?” That never occurred to me.
And apparently it never occurred to her to say, “Would you like to learn how to make this? I would love to teach you.”
Dear Grandmothers of the World: Please teach your people how to cook your good food. Even if they don’t want to learn right now. They will miss it — and they will miss you — someday.
The Big Reveal
When the timer went off, I excitedly opened the oven door and gasped. Nut filling had oozed out of the bread and stuck to the pan. This is the part where I forgot to take pictures. Because I was too busy saying bad words and being mad that I’m not An Awesome Nut Roll Baker after all.
Here’s a photo after the loaves cooled and I scraped the burnt filling away.
They looked OK. But how did they taste?
It wasn’t bad. … But it wasn’t my grandma’s nut roll.
The dough was more dense and the filling that remained was still way too sweet.
Again, it didn’t taste bad.
It just didn’t taste like home.
Failure Is Impossible
This is the part where I am tempted to throw up my hands and declare failure. I can’t make a nut roll like my grandma’s. Why did I ever even think I could try? Blah blah blah.
Failure is impossible. Susan B. Anthony said that. It’s one of my favorite quotes, but do I really believe that? Do I live it? When I try something that fails, is that the end of the story?
Honestly … yes. It usually is for me. I tried to make a nut roll like grandma’s, but it was a lot of work and it didn’t taste right. The end.
But not today! This is a quest, after all.
Quests never go according to plan. There’s always an obstacle or two to overcome.
I have not exhausted every option. I tried one recipe that wasn’t The One.
And I learned that I need to seal the ends of the loaves better and poke a few holes on top to prevent the filling from escaping.
That’s the kind of advice a grandmother would give a novice baker, but hey, I figured it out on my own.
My first nut roll attempt wasn’t perfect, but it’s a start. Now I have a baseline to compare my next attempt.
I googled authentic Slovak nut roll. A whole bunch of recipes pop up. They are all a little bit different —and they all have walnuts, not almonds! That seems right. This is where my quest will take me next.
I’m going to pick a new nut roll recipe and give it a try next weekend.
I haven’t failed. I just haven’t succeeded with my nut roll quest … yet.
Love,
Courtney
P.S. — Dear Grandmothers of the World (and anyone else reading this): If you have an amazing nut roll recipe, please let me know. I would love to try it!